[Once again, as my nurses and doctors are my coworkers, their names will be omitted. But they are amazing, selfless, caring, & smart]
When I wrote my birth story after having Emily, it was fairly fresh. I wrote it in two parts – the good and the bad – to help me process everything. I wanted to be thankful for the amazing parts but there were some awful parts too. And writing was then, and still is, my therapy.
Now our little Chloe is six months old and I haven’t written her birth story. I’ve been so busy, and haven’t made the time. And having Chloe was completely different. I didn’t need to write about it right away. But now I want to.
I had a social induction, on a crazy busy holiday.
I was that patient. I had a two-vessel cord, a history of postdates, hips that (I was sure) were crumbling apart, and a husband who was going to deploy overseas two months from my due date. I. Wanted. Her. Out. Thankfully my OB and my amazing nurses made it happen!
I have never had more anxiety than that morning, slipping into my sexy blue Johnny shirt. I was going from nurse to patient. Mama of one to mama of two. And I was terrified that I’d have another hemorrhage. Thankfully I had Kevin by my side the entire time.
Contractions, although not super effective, started about ten minutes after I had a dose of Prostin gel. I was only 1cm. I called my mom and told her to meet us at my house. Get ready for a long day, I warned her.
Back to work.
I was having an abnormal contraction pattern so I tried to tough it out and move a lot to try and get her into a better position while I waited to be reassessed by my OB.
So much fluid, it was embarrassing. Also I didn’t think to ask about anaesthesia BEFORE getting my water broken so now I had to wait for my epidural.
Give me all the fentanyl.
Then I had the sloooowwwweeeest epidural. Which worked super great on my right leg and not so much on my left. Also Kevin gets a little ghostly white around this point.
Still having couplets. Cue the pitocin! And I still had that one hip I could feel falling apart. My nurse finally took a lunch break. I felt like a nuisance. Where was my amazing multip delivery?
I was 2cm, then 3cm, then 3-4cm, then 4-5, then “a good 5cm” when they checked me before my OB headed to the OR with another patient. All of us just sitting around waiting for her to arrive.
Then it was time for shift change so I was checked one more time. 7cm. My nurse has to go swap out with another.
But my left hip was shattering.
Kevin says he is going to step out to the washroom.
I say nope – pretty sure I need to push. And sure enough –
I gave a half-hearted push. I was so scared. And my OB was busy. And I thought that once she was out then I’d bleed and all I could think about was how this was going to be so bad.
But at 7:30pm, they are all telling me to push. My baby care nurse, who literally teaches people how to save babies, was there, and had seen us in MFM too. And my labour nurse – a coworker, coach, friend, and mentor who has taught me so much, telling me to just push and she’ll be here. I knew we were in good hands, but my OB was still in the OR.
And then, in all the commotion, I realize that my nurse is going to deliver my baby.
Because nurses are rockstars.
At 7:37pm we welcomed Chloe Jasmine Bouchard into the world. 7lbs 2oz. Safe, healthy, skin-to-skin. I cried. My mom cried. Kevin was so proud he couldn’t stop smiling. And besides a slight delay between baby and placenta, everything was fine. I had a birth experience that was healing.
Not without immense anxiety
But surrounded by people who made me feel safe, even when I was scared.
And, because everyone asks, yes I’m done.
I am going to spend the rest of my life raising my girls and helping other women have babies.