A Mother’s Day Letter

Dear Mama,

Today is your ‘first’ Mother’s Day – you’re pregnant with your first baby. You don’t know she’s a girl yet, and oh are you (and Papa) going to cry when you find out. You’ve wanted to be pregnant so badly and here you are! You’ll get a couple cards today to celebrate, and a blanket. You will still smile when you see the kids snuggled up on the couch with it, years later.

Today you are sitting with your hand on your belly, wondering so many things. You wonder if everything will be okay, if you’ll survive the newborn stage, if you’ll be a good mom and parent well. If she’ll be smart, beautiful, adventurous, shy. You are wondering how many little babies you’ll have one day. As an only child, will you be able to parent siblings? Will we still be able to adopt one day? Will you balance your work and career with your family? What will life be like in five years?

Well, guess what –

You got through it! The pregnancy, the delivery, the newborn stage. It passed like a slow snail and a blur all at once. You’re a good mom, most days. And even when you don’t feel like it, you’re doing the best you can. Emily is smart, and so beautiful. Adventurous and shy and so much more.

You got through the miscarriage. It hurt your heart, your belly and your marriage but all three became stronger in the end. And you learned some valuable lessons along the way.

And then came Chloe, who is so much like Emmy and so different, too. You got through it all over again, this time alone. You didn’t think it could be done, but now on the other side, you’ve really found your strength.

And now, Mama, there are three of them. Three of the most spirited, stunning, and special girls in the world. And they love each other like you always hoped that siblings would. You’ve taken all of that wondering and hope and you’ve planted it into their relationship with each other and the sweetest sisters seem to be growing from all of that effort.

Through all of this, you’ve worked your butt off! You have molded yourself from a scared new grad into a seasoned nurse. You have left your own life at the hospital doors to go in and help make new mamas believe that they can do this, too.

So savour this day, mama. The big belly and baby kicks. The quiet house and hot coffee. The long hot showers and alone time with the people in your life. Savour it all and know that better days and harder days are coming to you. The longest and shortest days of your life. The next five years, mama, they’re going to fly by. You’re going to be okay. Everything is going to be more than okay.

Happy Mother’s Day

to me, at 23.


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